


And For You, Team, The Chase Is On

by UniverseOnHerShoulders



Series: Prompt Fills [51]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Spatial Genetic Multiplicity, The Chase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21747307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UniverseOnHerShoulders/pseuds/UniverseOnHerShoulders
Summary: I mean, it's an easy enough mistake to make really. It's amazing that the Doctor hasn't made it before. Besides, which came first? Bradley Walsh? Or Graham O'Brien?
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor & Yasmin Khan & Graham O'Brien & Ryan Sinclair
Series: Prompt Fills [51]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/585397
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	And For You, Team, The Chase Is On

**Author's Note:**

> From allnewtpir's prompt:
> 
> _"Doctor Who series eleven but Graham O’Brien doesn’t exist, it’s just Bradley Walsh that the Doctor kidnapped from the set of The Chase."_
> 
> Which comes from [this post](https://julielilac.tumblr.com/post/188898940584/braddersbangerz-concept-doctor-who-series-eleven).

“Is Grandad running late again?” Ryan grouses, leaning back in the vague direction of the console and hoping for the best. This time, as he tips backwards optimistically, he manages to prop himself against it in a somewhat cool manner; it’s a vast improvement from yesterday, when he attempted the same thing and found himself sprawled on the floor while Yaz snorted with laughter.

“Why don’t we go and pick him up?” the Doctor suggests brightly, although the adjective seems almost unnecessary; everything the Time Lady does is done with so much energy and exuberance that it’s a default state of being by this point. A downcast, slow-moving Time Lady would be a Time Lady to worry about, but this particular Time Lady is bouncing around the place like an overexcited spaniel, so Ryan isn’t too worried about her for the present. “Save time. The ice creams are going to melt otherwise.”

“What ice creams?” Ryan asks, perking up considerably at the mention of food. “You have ice creams in here? Have you been holding out on me?”

“Of course I’ve got ice creams,” the Doctor looks highly insulted by his doubt. “It’s an infinite time and spaceship, Ryan; of course it does ice creams. I think I’ve actually got an ice cream van parked in the garage, but it might not still work; it’s been a while since I switched the machines on. Or actually, if memory serves, it might still work, but only do anti-grav Flake 99s. We could find out, if you liked.”

“Sorry,” Yaz interjects, from her position leaning against one of the central columns. She’s been at work since five that morning, walking the streets of Sheffield in the rain – Ryan doesn’t envy her that; at least he’s inside at his job – and she’s visibly still shivering, and the columns seem to emit a low-level warmth in response to her lowered body temperature in a way that’s both reassuring and somewhat disconcerting. “You have a garage?”

“Of course I’ve got a garage. Why wouldn’t I have a garage?”

“How can you have a garage inside a form of transport?”

“Because I ignore things like general conventions on what’s acceptable to put inside other things – stop laughing! – and because I don’t know when to stop, by and large. _Stop laughing._ What’s funny?”

“Never mind,” Ryan snickers, not wanting to have to explain the accidental innuendo to the Doctor. “Yeah, alright. Let’s go pick Grandad up.”

“Excellent,” the Doctor visibly becomes more enthusiastic at the prospect, dancing around the console, flicking switches and pulling levers as she does so, and he knows that she’s looking forward to showing off. Sure enough, she begins to commentate aloud: “I’ll lock onto his biometric data and materialise around him, then we can get on our way to Space Florida.”

“Have you ever actually done that before?” Yaz asks doubtfully.

“Done what?”

“Materialise around someone.”

“Urm,” the Doctor dwells on the subject for a few seconds, chewing on her lip thoughtfully as she casts her mind back over several… well, however long she’d been alive’s worth of memories. “Couple of times, yeah. Takes a lot of energy and concentration, but it looks great. People are always well impressed when I do it.”

Yaz and Ryan exchange a look as the Doctor flicks a final switch, the TARDIS whooshes into motion, and a second later, Graham is stood in the console room, looking around himself in confusion.

“Blimey,” Ryan lets out a low whistle as he takes in his grandad’s sharp suit and bright shirt. “What occasion have you dressed up for, old man? It’s only Space Florida. You’re gonna be really hot in all that lot. Not to mention it’s going to take ages to dry if it gets wet… and I bet it _will_ get wet.”

“Never mind that,” the Doctor says loudly, launching them back into flight and trying – and failing – to conceal her smug grin of self-satisfaction. “Don’t worry, Graham, you can nip into the wardrobe when we land and find something a bit more weather-appropriate. Hold fire on any floral shirts though; they’re prohibited in Space Florida for urm… well, reasons. Regardless of what anyone says, I did _not_ know Space Hawaii had started a war with them.”

“Are you _sure_ you can get us into Space Disney?” Ryan asks, affixing the Doctor with a wary look as he recalls several previous instances of the Doctor making promises she hasn’t been fully able to keep. “In a way that’s not illegal, and won’t end with us having to fight off aliens?”

“Look, I can either get us in, and guarantee the last bit, or I can not get us in at all.”

“Remember, Ryan,” Yaz says with a grin that’s entirely unsuitable for a police officer. “Her way of getting in anywhere is illegal. Basically breaking and entering.”

“I don’t _break_ and enter,” the Doctor bristles, as Ryan chuckles at Yaz’s distinct lack of regard for the law when it came to the Doctor. “I _unlock_ and enter. It’s different.”

“My apologies,” Yaz rolls her eyes, holding her hands up in surrender. “Just as long as we don’t end up getting shot at. I had enough of that last time.”

“Yeah,” Ryan snickers. “And I think Grandad did and all… how’s your bum recovering, Grandad?”

The three of them look over at Graham, who is still frozen in place, looking around him with considerable awe and wonder. The TARDIS lands with its usual _thump_ , but the occupants are all fixated on Graham, who is now looking at them with a mixture of horror and confusion.

“Grandad?” Ryan asks, waving one hand at him slowly. “Why are you looking at us like we’re aliens or something?”

“I mean,” Yaz interjects, shooting a glance at the Time Lady at the console. “The Doctor being the exception to that rule. Graham, what’s the matter?”

“I’m…” Graham says after a moment, blinking in bafflement. “Who’s Graham?”

“You’re Graham,” the Doctor says, frowning with concern. “Oh, god. Please tell me I’ve not caused temporary amnesia again; it took weeks last time before Osgood remembered how to put on a scarf.”

“I’m definitely not Graham,” Apparently-Not-Graham shoots back. “Who the hell are you?”

“Well, who the hell are _you_?” Yaz asks, her words taking on the serious tone that Ryan thinks of as her police voice.

“Bradley Walsh,” Definitely-Not-Graham says, as though it ought to be obvious. “You know… from _The Chase_?”

“What?” Ryan frowns, remembering the quiz shows his nan used to flick through in the evenings. “You mean that thing on ITV? With the Beast and the Dark Destroyer and-”

“The Governess, in this case, and four team members, who are all going to be mystified about where the hell I’ve just gone; that’s to say nothing about the director, the producer, and the audience. ITV are going to absolutely kill you if you don’t take me back; without me, people are going to have to watch _Pointless_ , and I think I’m much better looking than that Richard Osman bloke, although he has got the height advantage. He hasn’t had a number one album, either.”

“Sorry,” the Doctor says, looking between Ryan and Bradley like she’s watching a tennis match. “The _Dark Destroyer_?”

“Well, that’s not his real name,” Bradley rolls his eyes, like this is the stupidest question he’s ever heard. “His real name’s Shaun Wallace, which isn’t much better; you can see why we call him the Dark Destroyer. He’s really not that scary when he’s not chasing people, although his dad jokes are pretty frightening.”

“Sorry, what… _chasing people_?” the Doctor looks aghast. “What’s going on?”

“This isn’t Graham,” Yaz says patiently, as though she’s explaining something to a very small child. In this instance, she might as well be; the Doctor’s knowledge of Earth popular culture can be seriously lacking in some areas, and teatime quiz shows appear to be one such topic. “This is Bradley Walsh; he’s a TV presenter.”

“And actor,” Bradley adds with mild indignation, giving a little twirl and a flourish. “And singer. And comedian. And dad. And general all-round nice guy.”

“He presents a show called _The Chase_.”

“Sounds horrible,” the Doctor shivers. “What, so you hunt people down?”

“No, it’s just a quiz show,” Bradley says, looking considerably baffled to even be having this conversation. “We have a team of four players and they have to answer questions to stay one step ahead of a professional quizzer on this big lit-up board – we call the quizzer the Chaser. If they get a question right, they take a step forward on the board; if they don’t, they stay where they are. Same for the Chaser.”

“What happens when they get caught?”

“They go back to the green room,” Bradley raises his eyebrows. “Have some free tea, coffee and biccies, and then they go home, and don’t get to compete for the prize money.”

“Oh,” the Doctor looks greatly relieved by this assurance. “What’s this about a Dark Destroyer?”

“The Chasers all have silly nicknames,” Bradley shrugs. “It’s part of the gimmick. You’ve got the Beast, the Dark Destroyer, the Governess, the Vixen, and the Sinnerman.”

“And they’re not… bad people?”

“Of course not!” he looks aghast at the very suggestion. “I mean, you get a few pints in them and you might see some really terrible dancing, and some bloody awful karaoke, but they’re a laugh, mainly. They play the bad guy but they make it funny; it’s like panto. It’s all just hammed up for the cameras really; playing a character.”

“Love a panto,” the Doctor says wistfully, then seems to snap back to reality. “I’m urm. I’m sorry we’ve accidentally borrowed you.”

“Abducted.”

“That’s a very strong word.”

“I’m experiencing a very strong sense of weirdness,” Bradley points out, not unreasonably. “I’ve been kidnapped by three lunatics.”

“We ain’t lunatics,” Ryan rolls his eyes at the accusation. “Well, I mean, the Doctor is quite weird, but she ain’t a lunatic. Yaz is a police officer, and I’m… well, I’m a bit of a loose end, but I’m definitely sane.”

“You were talking about Space Florida.”

“Yeah, urm,” Yaz grimaces, then says in a rush: “This is a time and spaceship. We’re going to Space Florida for the day with Graham – that’s Ryan’s grandad, who we were aiming for when we accidentally got you instead.”

“Space Florida?” Bradley asks thoughtfully, and Ryan can see an idea beginning to develop in the quiz show host’s mind. “That sounds… intriguing. Don’t suppose there’s room for one more, is there?”

The three of them exchange looks.

“I don’t see why not,” the Doctor says slowly. “We can come back tomorrow with Graham. Actual-Graham.”

“Do we get to ride Space Mountain twice?” Ryan asks hopefully.

“It’s just Regular Mountain out here,” the Doctor reminds them. “But yes, we do. Fine, Bradley. You can come.”


End file.
